If I need help for my friend

Because every person is an individual, and any person who experiences a mental health problem will experience it in his or her own way, it is often hard to give detailed advice to a friend about what he or she can do.

You have clicked through to this area, which means you want to be there for someone. Standing by your friend, or speaking up for someone you know can be one of the best kinds of support you can give. Whether it is your boyfriend or girlfriend, a family member, your best friend or just someone in your class, a kind word, which shows you care, can really make the difference.

Why is it my business?

Sometimes it is difficult to be a friend. We all have things going on in our lives, and for whatever reason it can be hard to be there, or notice the things that happen to the people closest to us.

We all know that friendships and relationships go through their difficulties, or just fizzle out as time goes by. That said, sometimes somebody changes and you really don’t know why that is… you may be worried… you may not know what to say or how to help.

Sometimes, having mental health problems can be a reason for someone you know behaving unusually, or changing over a period of time. You can find out more about mental health problems.

What can I do to help?

If someone you know has a mental health problem, or you think that they might do, and you’re worried about them, you may need to be patient.

They may want to talk about it – but they may not. You can’t force someone to talk if they’re not ready. Often it may be hard for them to put feelings into words. They may feel embarrassed that someone else has figured out that there is a problem.

The important thing is to let them know that you are there for them, that you care about them, and that you will not judge them.

Stigma is the last thing people need when they are in distress. Often people who have mental health problems withdraw from social situations and friendships.

• Find out what you can about the things affecting your friend, and visit some of the other sites linked here.
• Read some personal accounts of stigma.. See how much of an impact stigma can have, and know how to recognise it.
• If you find something useful on the site, print it or keep a note. Having something on paper can really help in what are likely to be difficult conversations with your friend.
• Once you have started talking, think about looking for information together. Come back to the site; tell us about which bits were helpful, and which other sites you liked.
• If your friend is prepared to talk to other people – like a parent, doctor, teacher or youth worker - you should offer support and maybe even go with him or her.
• Sometimes, people might not want to get professional help, even if it is likely that they will need it to get better. Try to encourage them to speak to somebody.
• If they cannot face speaking face to face, suggest they try a helpline, whose staff can listen to them and offer them professional advice by phone or email. That way you can concentrate on being a friend, and your confidence is not broken.

It is important to remember that you might not be able to deal with everything that comes up. You are not an expert. You cannot take on your friend’s problems. You need to make sure you look after yourself too. You may want to get some advice and support for yourself from one of the organisations listed in this help section

There is one situation when you should always act, and that is if you think somebody’s life may be in danger.

It is always better to risk your friend being angry with you for breaking a confidence, than risk losing a friend forever.

If you think your friend might be at risk of suicide, please tell a parent, teacher, a doctor, or call NHS 24. In an emergency, always call 999.

You may want to speak to someone confidentially about any aspect of a friend’s behaviour that worries you. Visit the help section for details of people to contact.