Information for parents or carers

Stigma means that sadly, it is often the tragic, or extreme cases of mental ill-health that we hear about. This campaign has been launched to show that mental ill-health can affect anybody, and that most people recover fully. It is important that parents are aware of the message the campaign is sending, and know where to guide a person for further information and support.

Where do mental health problems come from?

Mental health problems often build up over time and can be triggered by a wide range of factors or stresses. Sometimes there may not be an obvious trigger.

In some cases, problems can build up over a period of months, or years. Slow changes can be hard to notice and the early signs of a mental health problem may appear very similar to the ups and downs of adolescence.

Sometimes problems and stresses keep building up until there is a point where something gives, resulting in a crisis. This is often when help is first sought.

At this point, trying to find the right assistance, understanding family and friends’ reactions and coping with the person's behaviour can be a tough balancing act. It is important that the person you love gets clear messages of support. There are many people you can talk to if you feel overwhelmed, or under pressure.

Family and friends may not accept that a mental health problem can happen to someone close. However, it happens to many people, 1 in 4 of us, to be precise.

The symptoms of mental health problems vary from condition to condition and from person to person. You may notice that someone is acting out of character. In some cases, the person may lose touch with reality and seem very different.

People experiencing mental health problems sometimes do not believe that there is anything wrong and deny that there is a problem. They may say and do some things that are offensive or hurtful, so try to be patient, and realise that this may not be their fault.

Remember to take care of yourself and the rest of the family. It may be a very stressful time and you may need to prepare yourself for difficult issues to come up. Learn about what is happening, the causes, symptoms, coping strategies, treatments, side effects and recovery. Reassure your child that you are there and will support him or her in making decisions.

There are people you can talk to, to get advice or to ‘let off steam’. You may find joining a local carers' group helpful. Contact the specialist organisations listed on our factsheets, or call a helpline for details of groups or organisations that can help.

Most people who have mental health problems recover and lead fulfilling lives.

When someone is managing their mental health problem and leading what they feel is a fulfilling life it is known as "recovery.” This can be a gradual process, and will differ from person to person.

Recovery does not necessarily mean, “Everything is back to the way it was.” Acknowledge that something has happened and life may be different. In some cases a person experiences only one episode of ill-health and makes a quick and complete recovery.

You may think that it is best to pretend that nothing has happened. This can damage everyone involved. Open communication is vital, and brushing things under the carpet can make a young person feel guilty, or that you are ashamed.

Experiencing, and recovering from a mental health problem can really change a person’s perspective, even when the experience is only brief. It is quite common for a young person to change their outlook, make different friends or have different interests after a period of being unwell.

Recovery does not necessarily mean cured…there may be bad times. It is important that any re-appearance of symptoms is not seen as a huge setback or disappointment, but as another challenge that can be overcome, just as previous periods of ill-health have been.

How Can I Be There For My Child?

Having good quality information is one of the best tools you can use to support your child and avoid stigma. Your child may not want other people to know about his/her problems.

Talk it through so that you have a clear idea who he/she wants told. You might also want to talk about the reasons for not telling people. Maybe your child has specific concerns about stigma that you can help address.

Be patient and give your child time to come to you. Open communication is the foundation of good support.

• Reassure and encourage.
• Be open and honest. Learn what you can about the mental health problem your child is experiencing, and ask him/her to explain how he/she feels. If you don’t know, or do not understand, say so, and think of ways you can work it out together.
• Write letters, or send cards, which say how you are feeling. They can be treasured, and read time and again, even if the young person seems not to appreciate them at the time. Keeping in touch is especially important if your son/daughter is away from home studying, or living independently.
• You may be tempted to try and protect your child as soon as you know that he/she is having problems. Try to discuss your concerns, and listen to what he/she has to say. If you can come to a compromise that includes your child's views, you can avoid making him/her feel overprotected.
• If you scrutinise your child’s behaviour (for example looking for new scars or monitoring their meals) you are likely to make him/her feel less in control, and less responsible for his/her own decisions.
• Learn what you can – most specialist organisations will have information, book lists or groups where talking to other parents or carers with similar experiences can be invaluable.
• Build up support networks that will be able to take pressure off you when you need it. These may involve relatives or friends, or using a telephone helpline.